Words to Wed By

I feel like I've been spun around twice (really fast) and now I find myself back in the chair, married and 'honeymooned' already, with lots to report. First and foremost, I will respond to numerous requests for my wedding speech to be posted. For those of you that I was unable to invite to the nuptials, my husband and I shared the thank you's at our reception, so those that appear to be missing from my speech were spoken by my handsome other half.

The posting of this speech will be followed by a post on marriage and of course the honeymoon, an indulgence of the highest order, wiled away in the tropical surrounds of Fiji.

For now, without further ado...the bride's speech...

Good evening, everyone.

I know that it’s a bit unusual to hear from the bride, but I think it would be fair to say in this case that it would be more unusual not to hear from me.

I know that table 9 in particular, which is filled with folks who have all at one time or another been my colleagues, would be very surprised if I stayed in my chair and let someone else have the last word.

My parents will be able confirm what Chris is about to find out, if he doesn’t already know – that the last word always belongs to me.

I am going to begin tonight with the remainder of the thank you’s that were not covered by my husband.

My first thank you goes to Alex [bridesmaid] for her kind words.

For those of you that don’t have the privilege of knowing Alex, she is very careful when she commits words to a page. She feels their weight and their meaning and treats every word as a thought delicately placed.

For this reason, and because we have been friends now for just on 20 years, I was confident when we assigned her the task of making a speech on one of the most important days of our lives.

My second thanks goes to Nataisha [bridesmaid], my supremely organised sister and friend.

I know many of you are quietly nodding and surmising that surely there is not a person more organised or more anal in the world, than I – but alas, I can assure you that there is!

Without Nataisha’s spreadsheets and google maps, her thesis on wedding cars, and her month-by-month checklist, we would most likely be at McDonald’s right now holding a party that involves cheeseburgers and paper hats.

A sincere thank you to both of my bridesmaids, affectionately know as B1 and B2, for your counsel, your friendship and your good humour.

Thanks also to our mums, dads, and our extended families, for everything you have done to support us and to get us here in one piece.

It’s been an extraordinary and special day that we’ll never forget. Everyone has pitched in to ensure it goes to plan.

For some people, a wedding involving a diverse or complex family coming together would be viewed as difficult or awkward. We prefer to see the glass as more than half full.

We might have more members than Oprah’s book club but we also have less turf wars than the Hells Angels.

Our family has multiple parts, or layers if you like – Chris says we are part of the onion family.

One thing is for sure - there is nothing like a wedding to make you appreciate diversity. We approached seating our guests a bit like the Event Manager at a banquet for the United Nations. In fact, if you have any feedback about your experience with us this evening you can email it directly to enquiries@un.org.

Thank you to my new in-laws, the clan of Bender on table 2. I have always been proud of my name, but I will be equally as proud to bear yours from now on.

Thank you to our sponsors, otherwise known as “the silent partners” of this event, you know who you are. All of your contributions are gratefully received and acknowledged.

Thanks to “MC Steve” who emerged as an early front runner in a race consisting of stage-shy parental types, then looked behind him to find out he was the only horse running.

You’ve done an outstanding job as our MC this evening and we really appreciate it – please put your hands together for Steve, folks.

It would be remiss of me not to thank all of our speakers and readers from today, I know some of your were quite nervous but you all did a fantastic job.

Fiona Hewish has been assisting in the role of long-distance wedding planner. She runs her own business called Weddings Actually, in Sydney and it turns out she actually does know quite a bit about them. Thank you Fi, for lending us your coordination skills for today.

Last but by no means least we would like to thank;
Sophie, Christy and Rebecca from Fenix and the Chef, for what has so far been a delightful meal.

Thank you to our celebrant Janet Hussey, photographer, Robyn Slavin and to our DJ, Bruce Harrison.

Thanks also to CMS Australasia and Office Choice Braeside for their assistance with our Bonbonierre – Chris calls them Bon-Bon-YEAH! So I hope you all find them as exciting…

I also echoe Chris’s thanks to our interstate guests and regional visitors. It means a lot for us to have you here tonight.

Phew.

I hope I didn’t wear you out with all those thank you’s because I’m about to get to the real business at hand.

The business of marriage.

You may not know this, but I have never really been an advocate of marriage, so to be standing here today in the frock that rocks is more surprising to me than to anyone.

For my 21st birthday my grandmother (who turns 93 on Sunday), gave me all of the money she had saved for my wedding to spend on my first car. I had her thoroughly convinced her that I would never be exchanging nuptials with any man.

Now, you hear all sorts of clichés about marriage – it’s an expensive way of getting your washing done for free.

It’s the ball and chain.

They even call it “tying the knot”.

Lots of harmless quips that imply being stuck, captured, tied up and tied down.

Those of you that know me best know that there is nothing I value more than my freedom.

So, why “tie the knot”, then?

There is a simple answer – because I was asked by the lovely Mr Christopher.

Until I met Chris, I didn’t realise that the best kind of freedom is the sort that you find within a relationship.

But after nine years of being a part of “us” I believe I have enough evidence to prove that this is, in fact, the case. During this time, we have travelled overseas twice, moved house three times (three blocks apart), and changed jobs eight times between us.

I don’t believe that love has anything to do with “becoming one” or a single soul inhabiting two bodies.

To me, marriage is about agreeing to move through life permanently alongside another person – always parallel but never merging.

Almost like two sides of the same freeway.

The partnership that we have gives both of us the space to be who we are, do what we do, and achieve what we want to for ourselves as well as each other.

As much as we are a couple we are also two individuals.

Chris never tries to change me or to make me do things for selfish reasons. He always tells me to do what makes me happy, even when the outcome doesn’t necessarily favour him.

Our life together has a built-in flexibility, with enough push to challenge and enough pull to compromise.

Personally, I think this could be because my brother-in-law Paul has been chanting his mantra of “Happy wife, Happy life”, in Chris’s vicinity.

We kept our vows simple and traditional at this afternoon’s ceremony. We thought this was safer, given start-of-day nerves and the fact that it was too early to justify too many stiff drinks.

But now that I have warmed up my vocal chords and consumed enough vodka to boost the Russian socialist regime for few more months, I will say a few words extra words, especially for my new husband.

To me, love is not about finding a perfect person but seeing an imperfect person perfectly.

I am imperfect but I know that you see me.

I want you to know that I see you too.

I love you because you are the rarest of human beings.

A man of honour and a man of your word.

Children are drawn to you because they see your energy. They also see you are a very big kid.

You have an extraordinary talent, but you are extremely humble.

You are kind to others and too hard on yourself.

You have an offbeat sense of humour and you are genuinely funny.

You make me laugh out loud every single day.

Every morning you sing me a different song.

You are beautiful to me.

Chris; I promise…

I will laugh with you,
and tell you when others are laughing at you!

I will tell you that you’re wrong if you need to hear it…
but I’ll agree to humour you most of the time.

I will stand by you, stand with you and stand up for you.

I will fight for what I, you and we, believe in.

We will have some more great adventures in amazing places

And great fun with amazing people.

And no matter where you are, you will never be alone.

To borrow some well-worn words from my friend Mr Shakespeare;
My heart will be your shelter, and
My arms will be your home.

Thank you, everyone.

In closing – our heartfelt thanks to each and every one of you for coming here to share our wedding day with us.

We are privileged to have such an exceptional group of family and friends. We have friends here who have known us since primary and high school, who have worked with us, travelled with us, and most importantly have laughed and/or danced with us – as we have said inside your gift today, your smiles have made it truly spectacular.

Have a great evening.