I'm with him

Many people have expressed surprise that I will change my surname now that I'm married, although my pen name remains in tact. I suspect that the jaw-dropping is because most people perceive me to be an independent type of person, perhaps even defiantly so at times. To me, a surname is just a symbolic inference. It used to say, "I'm with them". Now it says, "I'm with him". The key to it is, I'm still Peta and that cannot be changed. My surname is just a family GPS. It tells people where to send me if I get lost.

Overwhelming would be an understated description of the emotional tsunami that was our recent wedding. A (married) friend had told me in the lead up that having such an expansive group of friends and family in the one place at the one time, all there to celebrate your partnership and future, was like being trapped in a wonderful love bubble. Even this astute summation left me unprepared for the outpouring of goodwill and generosity that was to come.

Our wedding was a warm, sparkling, happy celebration full of unforgettable moments with special people.

Afterward, a sea of faces and fun played like a b-roll, over and over in my mind. I lay, awash with feeling and exhausted in my crisp, white hotel bed, unable to sleep for the adrenalin still pumping through my veins. I could not shake the profound sensation that something extraordinary had just happened, something life-changing. This was a peak in my existence. A marker.

Even looking at the hundreds of beautiful photos taken on the day, there is simply no way to bottle or capture the cumulative moments, the pearls of time strung together, so precious and delicate, which had occurred. I thought, I must be satisfied just to savour them inside and to share them with my husband.

We left for Fiji two days after we were married. In Fijian culture there is a concept called kerekere. It means that time (and property) is communal and is shared amongst many. Continuing from person to person, it is given unconditionally.

Upon our return, so many of our friends and family have called or dropped by to share their experiences of our wedding. Their humorous anecdotes, enjoyment of the food and wine, excitement at making new friends or in catching up with old ones, and their genuine sense of appreciation for the ceremonious and monumental nature of the event in our lives has been humbling.

Fijian kerekere is indeed alive and well, here in our heartland. Memories shared will make the pearls of time from the beginning of our marriage into a dazzling necklace, to be kept forever in a sacred and collective vault.