Critical Condition

I find that life happens in cycles. And the cycles I've experienced this year have been all about work.

In between drowning in it, I come up for air for just long enough to gulp in some oxygen, clear my head and get back to the office. Christmas came and went and before I knew it, I was picked up and dropped, dead centre, into the eye of the storm. The proverbial shit storm, that is. Even Easter did not settle the elements.

I have been spinning around and around in this cyclone of everything work related until last week, when my body decided, it is just not going to take it anymore. It didn’t trust me to choose to take a break, so it made an executive decision and took me on an enforced one; the one that I needed and refused to give to myself. Low and behold, I got sick.

I spent the first day feigning surprise that this could happen to me. I turned up at the office only to be marched back out by the germ police. How could I be sick? I take vitamins. I read Body & Soul every Sunday, religiously. Surely, knowing how to look after yourself means that is exactly what you are doing. As it turns out, acting on this information is not only useful but crucial to actually sustaining a state of wellbeing.

For every question I had, my body replied with a resounding; “No”.
No, we are not going anywhere.
No, we are not doing anything.
No, we are resting now.
Please shut up and go to sleep.

And so I did, once I stopped tossing and turning. The questions subsided. I cancelled meetings and conference calls. I cancelled dinners and outings. Horror of horrors, I turned off both of my mobile phones. I underwent a complete maintenance shutdown.

The simple things that one usually takes for granted and does in a flurry became strangely significant. Getting out of bed was miraculous. Brushing my teeth felt great. On Saturday, I showered and dressed with a great sense of achievement. It was like I had been walking at pace, just ahead of myself, and I had reached forward and pulled myself back into the present with an enormous and violent hug. “Hey you, get back here”. I saw myself in the mirror for the first time in weeks.

Work schmirk, I jeer and proceed to make myself a posie of promises. I will eat better, exercise regularly, sleep properly, drink less, decline unnecessary social events and put myself first. Full stop, no excuses. There is no one else who can swallow this jagged little pill for me (thank you, Alanis).

My slumber has restored me. Not only did I get sick, but I got some perspective. For how long I keep it still remains to be seen, but I have a pile of good intentions. I think I will take them out for a walk now while they still have legs. You know, so they can smell the roses.