Lately, I have been observing my friendships. Standing back from them and watching.
Back at Easter we had a visit from an old friend. Someone I have known for a long time, someone who has known me.
There are some people from the past that you can let go of, and there are some that you hang on to with both hands. Like clothes you used to wear often, that hardly fit you now, you cannot bear to give them away. They can still be worn, from time to time, after a bout of food poisoning or a good week at the gym; and they still keep you warm when you wear them. Best of all, they remind you of parts of yourself that had a time and a place, that somehow still exist.
The time and place of this friend was a raw time for me. A time when I was torn apart, yet more whole than I am now. A time of possibilities and earnest undertakings with a view to the future. It was about looking forward from every angle. Jobs were money for jam and money was traded for Southern Comfort… shared in the dark, dark music blaring. A career was a faraway destination for which a foundation was being laid, the way you lay cards in a game of poker. Calculated guessing about how the game might fall.
Love was a promise, a lesson and an adventure.
Some people change and some people don't. Some people remain stubbornly constant as life shifts around them. These people are the signposts in our lives by which we should stop, turn around and look back down the road to remind us how far we've come - how many bridges we burned, shots we drank and hearts we broke, getting to where we stand today.
